Max & Me

My love for photography has been rekindled. And I'm so excited! This time I'm doing for myself only....just for the love of it. Not for marketing or promotional purposes, just pure love. I will be shooting as many days a week as I can of the following subjects....so enjoy.

Day 1: tolerance

Day 2: Content

Walking on Sunshine!

 and don't it feel good?!

Oh to have this energy. Oh to be able to freeze time for real....

 it's an art. ;)

 Hey mom, what's up with him? Yeah, he must be crazy.......acting like a goat.

Living in the moment.

How many moments I've missed because of "projects"............reaching for another finish line. I've quit living FOR the moment and started living IN the moment. It's a precious place to be...

I am a recovering workaholic.

 Yes, I've got enough mommy guilt to last a lifetime....

 as do all good mothers...

 I'm learning how to play again....

 how to enjoy myself....doing nothing....

and it feels sooooo good!

Can I live here forever?

There is a football game in my house. Every. day.

and I love it. I want to stay here forever. This time in my life where all is well, the kids are still small but yet big enough to care for themselves (feed themselves, use the toilet and don't have to be carried) and do fun things together (can you say, travel?) These precious years will slip by too quick I know.

So right now I'm savoring every pass and tackle. Even if it is in the living room. Even if it does knock lamps and vases over. Because some day they won't be moved unless I move them.

Can I live here forever?

Not worth it.

Disclaimer: this post is not bashing anyone that isn't a stay at home mom or is successful in any career field. Rather its my heart and mind at war with one another.......a war that is all too common with mothers. I know so many can sympathize. I apologize if this hurts anyone in any way. I understand that staying at home is not an option for some mothers no matter how badly they want it.

Some day's, like today I get down in the mouth when I look around at all the successful businesses similar to my own that started later than I did. I'm not jealous at all, I'm proud to see other SAHM's being successful. That say's a lot for us! It's just that I know my potential and I have the customer base, but I lack the time or rather the desire to miss out on my children's childhood to be a success in any career field. I have such strong urges and ideas that at times I can get carried away with.......until I see those precious little ones needing attention, real attention and then the grandest idea's are all just vanity. In my dreams I'm a successful designer and photographer, enabling my husband to stay at home with us.....we would school, explore and work together, the 5 of us. But the reality is that there are soooo many hours that I must spend alone, not engaged with them. Working, slaving, giving my best hours to.....to something that we all can't enjoy together. And so it's not worth it. I am a stay at home mom after all...........that is why I stay at home....so I can be with them, engaging with them, teaching, learning, living. And so I lay down my dreams and pick up my children's........that is my calling, above everything else, every other calling I may have, these 3 little amazing human beings are my callings. Please know that I don't begrudge it one little bit. It is an honor to be called to be their mother, it's just that sometimes my dreams can take a hold of me so fiercely that it hurts to lay them down. But my dreams are just that. Dreams. Not real like these little human beings that are flesh of my flesh, my heart, my soul.....dreams are not worth it. No, I'm not hanging up my sewing machine or camera. They have just been put on the leash....not me.

There is NOTHING worth missing out on moments like this....

when I taught him to ride his bike without training wheels. My mommy heart nearly burst with joy watching him. My sewing machine has never given me such joy.



My sewing machine has never showed me the love like this little girl shows to all around her....

Or the amazing genius of this little boy in a man's body....

So when you look at me and think I'm slacking, just remember, it's not because I can't....it's because it's not worth it........not worth missing these moments.

Welcome!

For years I've struggled with having Lilly Anna Kids and my photography on the same page/website. So I combined them on one site but I was never happy about it. And I never felt comfortable being random or speaking my mind because I'm trying to sell something thru those pages......a certain level of professionalism is expected there. So I started Farm Vogue as my personal space. I am a farm girl. And not all farm girls are rednecks. I'm here to prove it.

Welcome to my creative space. Make sure to follow by email so you will get my blog posts in your inbox!

Organic Childhood {Southeast Missouri Child Lifestyle Photographer/Lifetograper}

These are my kids (and nephews). This is our life. Real Life. This is our everyday. They dress themselves. They wear dirty, too big, too little or someone else's clothing. Because the goats don't care. And neither do I. They are kids.

My passion is to capture that fact without disturbing the organic nature of childhood. To be a fly on the wall...or on the goat.

Welcome to our backyard. Where we play with goats, swim in mud puddles, hug chickens and wrestle with dogs. It's a kids world. And I get to capture it....

(no animals were harmed in the capture of these photo's)